Not Enough

Apparently I'm not good enough for you. Not hard working enough. Not smart enough. Not amazing enough to let you brag to your so called friends. Yeah. Compare me to smart people. Compare me to beautiful people, compare me to people who works hard. Compare me to your friends children compare me to people who think are perfect to you. Yeah do that. Just compare.

I could do the same to you. But I do t want to. I'll just take the blame for everything. I'll just sit and listen to you nag about how I'm not good enough for you. When I'm the one who helps you around the house when the others are not. I'm the one who does things without complaining while the others does. I'm the one who thinks of you working so hard and takes over while the others? What do they do. You hear me but you never listen. You see me but you dont look. All my flaws you point out, but what about my good points? If you would just stop and look at me and pay attention, I'm suffering inside even though I look tough on the outside. You don't know me. You never asked me how I am You never asked if I had a problem. You DONT know my problems. You think I'm tough? People who look tough are the ones that are suffering the most. I guess you'll just never know. Ever since I was little, I deal with my own problems. I guess my limit is over. That little girl who deals with her problem all on her own until the age of 19 just can't take it anymore...

Fear of Losing

After every argument we have, I'm always afraid that I will loose you. For some reason, I fear that you might not take it anymore and not want to be with me. I guess arguing with you is a good way to let me know that I want you in my life. That I'm afraid of loosing you. But I hate that after every argument, this thought will be in my head and I'll get scared. So scared.

You can't say 'let's not argue' because that's impossible. You can't say 'I'm not gonna leave you' because you can't foresee the future. You can't say 'I promise I'm not going anywhere' because some promises are meant to be broken. You can't say all those and expect me/us to believe that. You just have to somehow prove that you'll stay , prove that after every argument we have, the thought of loosing you won't come to me. Just prove it to me and not just say it. I need to know that when I wake up in the morning, there'll be a text saying 'good morning baby' and I need to know that when I go to bed I'll get a 'good night baby, sweet dreams, sleep tight and I love you'. Because I can't imagine my life without those words. I just can't.

I'll do the same baby. I will. I'll prove to you.

I Love You.